I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
