Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
