Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Couch. On fire.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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