I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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