I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
