I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
