We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
