my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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