im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
