Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
