I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
