Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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