dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
