So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
