So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
