Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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