In the future we'll all be gay
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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