i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
