I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We need to get me chipped asap
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
