you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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