R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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