I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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