apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
