I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
