The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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