Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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