Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you win again, gameday.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
