I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
