Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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