So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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