I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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