i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
