Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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