her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
