you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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