those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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