Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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