I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
