It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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