Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
