We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize