hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
