6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
