I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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