Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
