Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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