i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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