so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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