You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
