Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
