I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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