we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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