i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
