The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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