Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
