My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
