I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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