So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
