I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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