Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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