i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
