I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
