My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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