put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
