I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
