just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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