break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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